Lord Mountevan's Rules: Team Kickass v Anderson/Gonsalves

[UKWF]

Post your RPs for the match below. 2 RP cap, max. 1 RP per character, max. 500 words per RP.

[lacklan]

~~The PrincessTwilightSexyFang podcast, as viewed on hotgoths.fuckyeah~~

VINDICATION!

That is the word of the day, Fang Gang! People LAUGHED when I first said that I was going to bring RIGHTEOUS FURY to the doors of the UKWF at Battle Lines. They SCOFFED at me when I said that I would stage a protest SO LARGE and SO FILLED WITH PIETY that the people who sign my paychecks (whoever they even are?) would have NO CHOICE but to meet my demands. AND THEY DID!

Victory and vindication are mine!

Allow me to post a gif that PERSONIFIES how I feel right this very moment:

And you know what is the BEST PART?! 🤜🏻Team💥Kickass🤛🏾 gets to improve our UNDEFEATED STREAK at the SuperSlamSummerShowWhateverItIsCalled! Now, some people might think to themselves, "Hey Firestarter, why are you so confident that you care going to kick the everloving crap out of those two dudes?" Welp, here's why!

I get that bossman thinks he has gotten one up on 🤜🏻Team💥Kickass🤛🏾 with a hand-picked team in a match that is TOTES NOT COOL. But the TRUTH of the matter? Bossman actually handpicked this team...for us to WIN! Here's the dealio, boys: Yes, you are somewhat cute. But that flippy shit you do? That "ZOMG LETS SPIN 27 TIMES AND NOT HAVE ANY COHESION TO OUR MOVE PROGRESSION!!!!" junk?

I am literally built to end that shit.

Everything I do, from the words I say and type to the moves I make to way I dress and do my makeup is designed to be a part of a larger plan, to lead from one thing to the other. Hell, even my twitface shit is part of the plan! Just look at Adonis! Dude thought I was just some instagram model and opened his fat mouth...and then I Cop Killa'd him unto sweet oblivion. 


And you guys? You get to do your schtick. You get to go across all those continents. You get to flip and fly, twist and spin, dive and sail. Straight into my goddamn foot. Just like I have been doing all across the world, in just as many places as the two of you, showing that what I do is VASTLY superior to what you can do. This isn't even about Annie getting her gun and doing what you can do better: What I do is simply better than what you do.



So flip and fly all you want, boys. Twist and shout for all I care. I will kick you into oblivion, ground you with these massive legs, and make you cry out in pain, tears running down your cheeks, screaming to the referee “PLEASE! PLEASE! I CRY UNCLE! PLEASE GET THE INSANELY HOT ALBINO CHICK OFF ME!” as I twist you into knots. And when I finally let you up? When I am ready to accept your adoration and worship? Mackenzie and I are going to Falcon Punch both of you right out of the company and damned country.

[Kenzi Grey]

“So, where did the name Team Kickass come from?”

Sarah burst out laughing as Kenzi revealed her thoughts on the name, though a change was not in the offering. The interviewer moved on.

“At Summerfest, you two are at a marked disadvantage against Craig Anderson and Owen Gonsalves in a Lord Mountevan's Rules match, made by James Kensington to punish you for an assault on a referee. How will you prevail in a match that is designed for you to do nothing but lose?”

Kenzi raised a single eyebrow as she answered…

“I’d like to address those concerned directly, if I may…”

She turned to the camera, engaging her UKWF adversaries directly…

“James Kensington, first, I applaud you for stacking the odds against us. Secondly, I thank you for being singularly responsible for unifying the most devastating duo in UKWF! You will have to live with the fact that you just gave teeth to a Revolution that will burn brighter than anything else in your organization! Finally, you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that your handpicked lapdogs may have had every advantage, but in the end, they failed to stop or even slow us down!”

“Anderson…Gonsalves, I hope the two of you are enjoying being asked to take the fall for the mess caused by Mr. Kensington. You’ll find Sarah and I are quite a bit more resilient and adaptable than either of you planned. Even with your names practically stamped across the front of the rulebook, we will outlast and ultimately best you. As you fight as hired guns for a tyrannical cause, know that you two were destined to be the first to burn in that Revolution…the first two to feel our righteous retribution!”

“I gave you both every opportunity to make this right…to salvage your dignity and leave UKWF with honor. All you had to do was agree to be set you on fire during the match. You both declined, willing to be witless pawns but refusing to burn. Well...whether you literally burn on your own or we set you ablaze in the ring, you’ll have played a part all the same!”

“You may have been built for this match, but we have been built to fight! We don’t care about your history or the titles you’ve held, the only thing that matters to us is that you two picked the wrong side! You may walk into Summerfest, but you’ll be carried out! My partner doesn’t care about your flippy shit, as she calls it, and I don’t care PERIOD! I have made a career out of besting the lackeys of power-hungry zealots, and you’ll be no damn different!”

“The people spoke loud and clear when James Kensington came out to try to silence them, yet he has only succeeded in uniting the voices that will be raised as one! Bring your antediluvian rules and your bannermen to Summerfest, and Team Kickass will make sure they all BURN in that Revolution!”

[Owen Gonsalves]

It's broad daylight in Japan, as "Indestructible" Owen Gonsalves sits in his hotel room, fresh off another match in the NJFC Pride of Puroresu Crown.

OWEN GONSALVES: "At long last, Owen Gonsalves will make his righteous return to the United Kingdom, and isn't it fitting that, considering my last trip to England was as part of VoW, I find myself teaming with the UK's own, Craig bloody Anderson? You see, this has been a long time coming for me...ever since, what some may call, the career resurrgence of Owen Gonsalves, I've been travelling all across the world, to places like Germany, Poland, Czech Republic, Japan, all across America. I've been to some incredible places this year but I had been desperate to find my way into a match here in England again..."

Gonsalves pulls up a water bottle and spins the cap off before taking a swig.

OWEN GONSALVES: "...and finally, Craig gives me a call on behalf of James Kensington, and asks me to take The Vision to the UK. Craig asked me to take a tag team born in my country, and bring it over to his country, to show it off in front of his people...who am I to say no to that? So I'll be there on Night One of UKWF's Summerfest and I'll be taking on the rather impressive, Team Kickass."

Owen scoffs slightly, thinking back to the back and forth he had with Grey and Lacklan where the discussion of Owen's "Ultraviolent" days and setting someone on fire arose.

OWEN GONSALVES: "You girls talk big game and inside a UKWF ring, you seem to have the set to back it up. I can respect that for sure, but you see, girls...You just don't know me. You think you've seen a hundred wrestlers like myself, and a hundred wrestlers like Craig Anderson but you haven't, that's not just because of your inexperience but that's because there isn't anyone like Craig Anderson and certainly not anyone like Owen bloody Gonsalves. Now sure, I enjoy doing my "flippy shit" alongside Craig in that ring, but if you reeeally did your research..."

Gonsalves leans in closer to the camera and lifts up a photograph of his most recent victory of Ricky Valero where Owen is seen nearly bending Valero's arm out of his socket with his "Krukenberg" submission.

OWEN GONSALVES: "You'd know that there is not a technical wrestler in the world today that will bend you and dismember you the way I will. I am not a one trick pony, I am a not just a showhorse...Firestarter, Grey, you girls will find out that I am a damn workhorse, a fucking stallion who will outrace you one minute and then snap your damn fingers off the next. So kick me square in my mouth and act like you're the first to do so because I will be glad to get up and kick you right back...So try your best to 'tie me in knots' inside that ring and act like you're the first to do so because I will be glad to show you that there is not a damn hold in the book that I do not know a counter to."

The High Flyah Messiah has managed to work himself into a heated rage, realizing that he composes himself momentarily, controlling his passion.

OWEN GONSALVES: "I'm begging you...underestimate me, underestimate Craig Anderson...because we will prove just like we always have, that The Vision will not be destroyed!"

[Craig Anderson]

It's mid-day in Boston, Massachusetts, as Craig Anderson wakes up off the back of his most recent match.

Craig Anderson: “I receive a lot of calls every week from promoters trying to book me for their shows, and up until now, I've always had to say no. But something about James Kensington's offer appealed to me.”

Craig wipes sleep out of his eyes, still not completely awake.

Craig Anderson: “I've never wrestled in my home country before, but this is hardly my first offer to do so. No, instead, what appealed to me was the chance to take The Vision out of Australia and bring it to the United Kingdom.”

Craig's 'vision', if you will, is to make a name for himself on a global scale. He also knows that Owen is built the same way, and this offer was too good to turn down.

Craig Anderson: “I compete in three different continents on a regular basis, and while this match is officially under 'traditional British rules', I am not a traditional British wrestler. The past few months in Australia have made me fall in love with this business all over again, and my time in Japan is making me an even better wrestler than I was before. Note the emphasis on wrestler.”

Craig pulls the camera closer and sits up straight, adopting a much more serious demeanour.

Craig Anderson: “Team Kick Ass, aka Kenzi and Sarah, aren't turning up to wrestle. They're turning up to fight. But that's fine, because I fight best when my back is against the wall. I know they're going to find every possible way to gain the upper hand against us, but that's EXACTLY what I'm hoping for. The pressure isn't on Owen and I – we've got nothing to gain, and even less to lose. They have to come at us – and that scenario is when I'm at my best. So Sarah, Kenzi... you can go on and on about our “flippy shit” all you like. The fact is, when Craig Anderson and Owen Gonsalves are in the ring, people sit up and take notice. Do we need to dive all over the place? No, I guess we don't. But if you think for one second that there's nothing more to us than a few fancy flips, you're going to be in for a rude awakening.”

Craig pulls out a packet of rich tea biscuits, but refrains from actually eating one.

Craig Anderson: “It's no secret that I'm a man who loves his biscuits – I love how they just slowly crumble away in my mouth. But do you know what I love even more? The satisfaction that comes from crumbling the hopes and dreams of two women who seem to think that they're the leaders of a revolution. This isn't the eighteenth century, ladies – although it is ironic that I'm in Boston right now. This is 2017 – the year of The Vision!”