Hammers v Jonin Gang

[UKWF]

Post your RPs for the match below. 2 RP cap, max 1 RP per character, max 500 words per RP.

[The Jew Blazer]

THE JEW BLAZER
The Dumbest Promo

Mild-mannered Joshua Goldstein enters the room in a suit with his hair tied back, looking very professional. He approaches a podium and several members of the press start asking him questions.

“Hi there everyone. There has been a LOT of questions here in the UKWF that have gone unanswered. These will all be fielded by the UKWF's new press secretary who will be out in just a mome...oh wait here he is now, UKWF Press Secretary and Hand-operated Waterfowl...Chuck Duckpuppet.” Josh says. He ducks behind the podium and re-emerges with a duck puppet on his arm. The press is confused.

“Hello ladies and gentlemen of the press. Quack. I am ready to answer any questions you have about the UKWF.” Chuck Duckpuppet says.

“Okay, Mr. Blazer.” A member of the press says.

“Please address the press secretary.” Josh says.

“Do I really have to?” They respond. Both Josh and the puppet nod.

“Uhmm...okay. Mr. uh...Duckpuppet.” a member of the press asks.

“Quack.” Chuck Duckpuppet responds.

“Uh....the New Management has yet to react to their shocking loss to the Jewish Hammers, care to comment on that?” They ask.

“To that I would say that as a puppet of a duck, I am unable to enjoy small bits of bread like real ducks seem to. I really wish I could figure out what all the fuss is about.” Chuck Duckpuppet says.

“Uh...what does that have to do wi-”

“QUACK!”

“Sorry, we're gonna have to move on. Mr. Duckpuppet is a very busy individual.” Josh says.

“Any word on how you...I mean...The Jew Blazer is feeling about his next match against the Jonin Gang?” another member of the Press asks. The Jew Blazer takes a moment to whisper into Chuck Duckpuppets ear. They have an exchange that takes more time than it should.

“The Jew Blazer currently holds tag titles in BWF and Redemption and is as confident in Hammerstein as a partner as he is with both Ronnie north in Redemption and Maverick Fantastico in BWF. The Jonin Gang are very talented but the Blazer is confident he will eventually be winning a third tag title as well as his first singles title in 2017. Also the most common and recognized species of duck is the Mallard or Wild duck. It is a dabbling duck that lives in the Americas, Europe, Asia, North Africa, and has been introduced to New Zealand and Australia. I am not one of those ducjks, I am merely a puppet.” Chuck Duckpuppet responds. The Press is getting very frustrated.

“Okay, Mr. Duckpuppet is starting to get very tired, could I have one last question please?” Josh says.

“This has been a profound waste of everybodys time.” The last member of the press says.

'That is not a question. Thank you for coming out everybody.” Josh says, stepping away from the podium with the Duckpuppet.

[Hammerstein]

Hammerstein's room at the York Hotel is about as basic as a basic hotel room can be. It's almost more of a small dorm or even a large closet. Hammerstein uses these types of hotels when Holly Buchanan isn't traveling with him.



The affable wrestler sits at the foot of the bed contemplating his dinner plans when he hears a knock at the door. He makes the two step trip across the room and opens the door. A courier stands before him, a box in hand.

“Delivery for Mr. Hammerstein.”

Hammerstein hands the courier a tip, takes the box, and giddily jumps from the door back to the bed. He plops down on the bed and unwraps the box. He pulls a note off the box and reads it, mouthing the words:

Hey Hammer!

Man, I gotta tell you how proud I am to have you as a partner! I know we haven't had much time to train together because of our crazy schedules. I also know you said you wanted to learn more about your Jewish heritage, since your uncle converted to Christianity. So I thought the best way to start would be with the thing that brings everyone together: FOOD! So open the box and HAVE A TASTY TIME!
Your Tag Team Partner
TJB.

Hammerstein pulls out a jar and looks at it.



He grabs a plastic bowl out of the box, opens the jar and turns it bottom side up.

Nothing happens.

Hammerstein shakes the jar and then it happens. A sickening slurping sound, and a gelatinous mass of ground fish loaves and goo plops into the bowl, accompanied by an atrocious smell. Hammerstein tosses the fish, bowl and all, out the window and runs to the tiny bathroom to wretch. From the bathroom, he can hear cursing coming from people in the street below

***Fade***

Hammerstein stands outside The Redbridge Leisure Centre, signing a few autographs and taking some pictures with fans. Soon, the’re gone, and the man the fans call “Da Hammer” is alone.

“Ya know sometime sumpin new come along and it just don’t work. Gefilte Fish? Get da hell outta here wit dat! I can't ever get used to dat stuff.”

Hammerstein shakes his head in disgust.

“But sometimes, wit a little time, tings just kinda click.

Kinda like dis Jewish Hammers ting.

I didn't tink I'd be able ta be in a team wit anybody scept my main bro, James Edwards. But me and da Blazer, we just kinda clicked. We beat da New Management Enforcer dudes, and now we has da Jonin Gang at No Escape.

Da Jewish Hammers got da chance ta be major playas in da UKWF, da tag champs even, and we ain't gonna let you boys keep us from gettin to em. Y'all good guys just like we are, but bizness be bizness. When da match is over, we'll gladly shake yo hands….

as y'all congratulate us on our victory.”